What Every University Student Needs To Know

In 9 days I will be finished my first year of university, and I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around that. It seems like 2 days ago I was frantically walking around the halls looking for room 114 and quickly trying to find the right seat that would be the perfect distance from the front.

I have learned so many important things this year. Of course I don't have as many experiences as someone who has graduated, or even someone in second or third year, but I think that God has shown me some pretty fundamental things.

I graduated grade 12 with my life figured out. I was going to major in psychology and minor in linguistics, and I was going to take only one English course, graduate in exactly 4 years (not a single day more), and spend 2 years taking my Master of Health Sciences in Speech Language Pathology at the University of Toronto (not anywhere else). Then I would be hired at either Bloorview, Sick Kids, or Grandview (a little bit of flexibility there), and somewhere in that mix I would find time to get married and live happily ever after.

When I started university this past fall, that was my mindset. My life was set in stone because that's the way I liked it. When there aren't any grey areas, everything is pretty comfortable right? So I went straight to the academic advisor and told him the exact courses I would like to take and when I would like to finish them. He kindly suggested that I allow myself some flexibility because students tend to change their minds, and I kindly responded that I really wasn't like every other student and I would most definitely not be changing my mind about anything.

God tends to shake things up when we don't have the right mindset.

It turns out I really don't like university English, and some parts of psychology aren't so great either. Health sciences are apparently my favourite thing now? And after volunteering at a specialized communication preschool I realized that speech language pathology isn't as exciting as I once thought. On top of all that, I ended up only being able to take four courses each semester so that means I'll graduate in 4.5 years instead of my personal, and very exact, 4 year deadline.

So to every university student, and anyone who likes to have control, here is what I have learned:

You don't have to have your life figured out 
I really think it's hard for us to let go of control. There is comfort in holding onto life's steering wheel because then the road that we are on lines up with the map in our head. Maybe it's just me, but having things figured out in my mind makes life seem pretty safe and secure.

The problem with that way of thinking is that if we only follow the map in our head, we will never have any idea what other roads offer. We get stuck in our point of view because we think our plan is great.

But what about something greater?

Think about how God has a birds-eye-view of everything (Job 28:24). He knows what's out there. He can see exactly where you fit into the huge world (Psalm 139:16), and sometimes He might want to turn the steering wheel so you can end up in that perfectly fitting place.

Be open to a change of direction.

God doesn't see you the way you see yourself
Going into my first year (and actually just going into life in general) I was (and still sometimes am) really hard on myself. This year I was trying to maintain a scholarship with tagged-on (really high!) expectations. Being someone who already has high expectations of myself, this didn't help.

Losing 0.33% of a grade because I circled one wrong answer was not okay. Neither was getting one 'X' on a syntactic tree (even without a mark deduction) because I extended a line too far. And it was definitely not okay to lose 2 marks for forgetting to fill in one column of an online lab chart. (The fact that I still remember every detail of those mistakes shows that I am clearly a work in progress!)

In my mind, all of these things were interfering with the way everybody else was going to see me.

Does anybody really care that I forgot to fill in that column? Probably not. In the big picture of life, those things aren't even visible.

The even better news is that to God, none of our mistakes are visible. He has promised to "never again remember our sins" (Hebrews 8:12) once we submit to Him.

This promise of grace is so incredibly relieving. Because of His Grace, we don't have to continually strive. We don't have to meet the expectations that the world places on us, because He has overcome the world (John 16:33).


Being thankful will change your life 
This year I learned how powerful it is to simply be thankful.

It's really easy to appear thankful and say you're thankful without really meaning it, but when you truly are thankful from the bottom of your heart, with every part of your being, it is powerful. 

Worries, plans, stress, frustration, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, caving under pressure (all the common emotions that rise up especially in university) - all of these feelings evaporate to the heavens when you choose to be thankful. When you take a minute to rest in the present moment and thank God for all He has blessed you with.

It is impossible to be worried when you think about everything that God has given you and what a powerful and merciful God He is.

Completely perspective-changing.


There are more important things than school 
I went into university with sort of a 'get in and get out' mindset. I wasn't there to have fun and make friends, I was there to learn. It took me almost 2 semesters to learn that having friends and spending time together outside of lectures is actually stress-relieving.

Time isn't going to stop while you're in school. Life keeps moving. We need to make the most of the time that has been given to us. Some days you are definitely going to have to spend hours upon hours studying and finishing assignments, (some days just aren't the greatest!) but there's a balance. Take breaks! Go meet a friend for lunch, have a movie night, even invite a friend to study with you if you really can't pull yourself away from it.

John 15:13 says "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends." Make sure you invest in your relationships. Don't let people drift away and don't miss out on memories. It's important for people (friends & family) to know that you care, even amongst the busyness of your life. Sometimes it might be important to sacrifice that extra hour of study time for someone. School (and the confusion at this point in your life) isn't forever, but your friends & family will be.

And no matter how busy you feel or how stressed-out you are, time with Jesus is essential. Nothing is as important as your relationship with Him. When you choose to be still in His presence, the plan that He has for you will become so clear, and peace will take over your life (Philippians 4:6-7).

--

You might know exactly where you're going. You might be able to see very clearly the direction that God is taking you.

You might be worried because your future looks misty. You might want to give God control but you don't know how to.

Or you might not really care where God wants to take you so you're holding on to control as tightly as you can.

But no matter where you are, where you think you're going, or where you have been:

Choose to be open. Choose to be thankful. And know that He is giving you peace and direction with open arms.

Your future is safe. 

And you are going to do amazing things.


- Kayla 

I know that Your love breaks my fall 

Scandal of grace, You died in my place so my soul will live 

Firm On His Promise I'll Stand

All I ever wanted in life was a sister.

Since the moment that I knew what a sister was, that's all I asked for. So when my mom found out that she was pregnant, I was convinced that it would be a girl. My parents tried to explain to me that I might end up with a brother, but in my two year old mind, there was no doubt it would be a girl.

How happy do you think I was when six days before my third birthday, my sister was born into our world?

I think my dad was just as ecstatic as I was, seeing as he let me out of the house wearing a purple and green tracksuit with white lacy socks and black dress shoes. I’m sure people smiled at the picture the two of us made as we walked down the hospital hallway, on a mission to meet the newest addition to our family. I can honestly say that was the best day of my life. I had great plans for that little girl. She would be my best friend, my companion, my secret keeper. She would be my whole world.

Fast forward three years, and my plan was going exactly the way I wanted it to. I had a playmate, a friend, a partner in crime. A student in my school, a client in my hair salon, a customer in my bakeries. I had someone to talk with at night, someone to sing songs with. Someone to confide in.

I never saw it coming.

I knew what autism was, I mean I had heard the word. It was all over my house. There were books lying around, and internet pages were left open. It was definitely there.

My partner in crime was seven now, and she wasn't anything like the girl who had been my hair model and cookie-taster. She had autism.

All I had ever wanted was a sister who could be my best friend.

Instead, I got a girl who hit and pushed. Who said awkward things and got lost in public places. She was extra work and couldn't be toilet trained and she tired my mom out. People felt uncomfortable around her.

Why did this have to happen to me? I needed someone to talk to. I couldn't talk to my mom because she was always tired, and my dad was always busy. I needed a best-friend-sister. Not an awkward-autism-sister.

I questioned God so much. Everything would just be so much better if you had given me a normal sister. I asked him the same thing so many times. Why?

In grade 10, my mom was diagnosed with depression. And that same year, God gave me my biggest miracle.

A second sister, and my best friend.

See, he knew what I needed all along. He blessed me with the most encouraging and uplifting young woman of God during one of the darkest times in my life. He blessed me with someone who would stand by my side through every battle and who would become part of my family.

He also showed me what a blessing my one and only biological sister is.

That girl is the light of my home. She's the voice of reason, the picture of peace, and the sunshine on a cloudy day. She is the first to laugh, the first to give a compliment, and the first to cry when someone else is in pain. She knows more about animals than anyone else I know, and she sings with more passion than an entire congregation of worshippers. She has a servant's heart, she is honest, and she is a young woman of integrity. She is the only one who understands what it's like to have a mom with depression. She's the only one who can understand how my heart broke when our dog died. She's the only one who knows how horrible my hair looks when I first wake up and still loves me anyways. She is always the first to stand up for me.

She is the best friend anyone could ask for.

The funny thing is the number of times I ask myself, what if? 

What if my sister didn't have autism?
What if my mom didn't have depression?
What if I fail my midterm?
What if I don't make it through university?
What if someone crashes into my car tomorrow?

It looks ridiculous when I type those things out.

God knew the second my sister was conceived that she would have autism. Actually, let me rephrase that. He knew before the world was formed that one day a girl would be born into the Peel family and she would have autism. He also had this amazing plan to bless me with a second sister who would would come into my world during high school and stick with me through the worst years of my life. He had a plan to make her an addition to my family. He designed us both so we would be able to make up for each other's weaknesses and encourage each other to grow closer to Him. He always has a plan.

Why do we question that plan when He's got it all covered?
Why do we worry about tomorrow when He's holding time in his hands?

The truth is that He always knows where He's taking us, but we don't always know where we're going.

That's the whole reason why we need Him.

To direct us. To protect us. To be our anchor in the reckless ocean that is our world. To love us. To be our peace. 

So no more what if's. 

He has this all under control.

Kayla

My Precious Biological Sister

My Miracle Sister 

If I climb to the sky, you're there!

   If I go underground, you're there!

If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon,

   You'd find me in a minute -

you're already there waiting!

...

You know me inside and out,

   you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

   how I was sculpted from nothing into something

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

   all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

   before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 139: 8-10, 13-16