Saturday, February 1, 2014

For Every Broken Heart

Sometimes I look at people who are in their nineties and wonder how they make it.

Nearly a century of living.

Struggling through tiring Monday mornings and Friday afternoon traffic jams. Enduring stifling-hot summers and ice-cold winters. Hearing the familiar sound of sirens speeding down the street on rainy Saturday afternoons. The piercing cries of babies and frail last breaths. The smell of burnt toast. The feeling of failure.

They made it despite the occasional agonizing pain of having a broken heart.

Somehow.

I'm nineteen, not ninety, so I can't tell you how they do it. But I can tell you that I agree with you.

Life is painful.

It hurts when someone rejects you. The cold looks from people in the hallway make you feel like an outsider. It brings tears to your eyes when you have to sit alone at lunch for the third time that week. Your heart aches when your sister says you aren't good enough. When you see people whispering and become convinced they're talking about you. And if your family doesn't want to listen then why would anyone else? Eventually the pain just becomes too much. You need a way out. You need life to become less painful. You want to make it through.

It hurts when you have to continually fake a smile. You're breaking on the inside but you don't want anyone else to know. It's hard to hold yourself together all the time. There are so many things to do. You just don't have time to think about the pain. You become numb. You want to be able to feel again. Hiding isn't easy either. You want to be found. You want someone to pursue you. You want to make it through.

It hurts to hold on to everyone's problems. You try to help but you can't. Nothing works. You feel like you have purpose when you can erase someone else's pain. But when you can't, you just feel hopeless. It's painful to see the hurt in other people, but what about your own? You want someone else to hold everything together for once. You want to make it all go away. You want to make it through.

Broken hearts don't only happen after break ups.

Our hearts break when they can't hold in the emotions anymore.

My mom went to Texas a few weeks ago, and one night my sister was having a conversation with my dad. She was sitting on the edge of her bed and she looked up at him and whispered, "My heart is broken." My dad was a little confused so he stopped what he was doing and turned to her, concerned. "Why?" He asked. She had tears in her eyes. "I just miss Mommy so much."

My sister can describe her emotions so accurately. Another time when my mom was away, she told me and my dad that she "had a little tear in her throat." My mom is so important to my sister. Christy needs her, depends on her, looks to her for encouragement. And when my mom isn't there, her heart breaks. Her tears escape. Her emotions become overwhelming.

We can all relate to that. When somebody who we need isn't there. When we try to hold our emotions in. When we attempt to take the problems of the world upon ourselves. It's overwhelming. Our hearts can't take it. We weren't designed for that.

God designed us to need Him. To respect Him. To know that we can't do anything without Him.

He wants to be near to us. He wants us to need Him.

We can't push Him away when our hearts our broken. He is the only one who can heal.

The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 
Psalm 34:18

So if you're hurting, He will restore you.
1 Peter 5:10
He will strengthen you. He will place you on a firm foundation. He will heal you (Psalm 4, Psalm 30, Psalm 103, Psalm 107, Isaiah 53, Jeremiah 17, Matthew 8, Matthew 9, Mark 4... you get the picture). He's pretty experienced with healing our pain.

If you're tired, He will give you rest. 
Matthew 11:28-30
He is humble and gentle. He offers us a trade - He takes our heavy burdens, and He gives us a few responsibilities that are much lighter to bear. We follow Him, and He carries our loads.

If you're worried, cast your anxiety on Him. He cares for you. 
1 Peter 5:7
I think it's important to note that we are instructed to cast our anxiety. If you think about someone who casts a fishing rod, they don't just gently place it in the water. They throw it far away. We need to do the same with our worries. Throw your worries all the way to Him, because He knows how to handle every part of your life.

And if you think you can do it all on your own, you can't. For in him, we live, and move, and breathe.
Acts 17:28 
Only in Him. Not with our own strength. Not with somebody else's help. In Him. 

Not every person who lives to be ninety has chosen to follow Him. But I'm positive that those who have chosen to follow Him have lived much more peaceful and rewarding lives. Those who have given Him their lives shine with His love. Their hearts are light. They have an abundance of wisdom to offer, because they have made it through. It can be done. It is completely possible. And with God by your side it's a million times easier. So let Him take your heavy load.

He's holding the entire world in His hands.

There's no need for you to hold it too.

Kayla 

Jerome, Arizona

I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me 
My flesh may fail, but my God you never will